Labels: I love you.. all along..

Hi guys.. is time to blog again.. haha.. sry.. last week post i won't be able to post alr.. cos i forgotten where i have saved them.. lol.. psps.. anyway.. i came to my aunt house yesterday.. and i when to cell group and i really enjoyed myself.. however,today i couldn't make it to church, due to the promise i made to my student.. so i attended his brithday and i give him his birthday present and he seems very happy that he jumped around.. haha.. so after that..i went to the kitchen to my surprise,my manager is there.. haha.. i kept on disturb him.. he was the one who do the cooking and he force me to be his guinea pig to test for this cooking.. and he said that if i eat it and die then they will throw it away so that they won't ended up in the hospital.. lol.. and i replied him that NO WAY MAN!!!! I WON'T BE YOUR GUINEA PIG.. ARHGGGG!!!!.. after that i went to the living room to take water again and again and he ask me am i hungry i say no but my manager friend help me to scoop a bowl of bee hoon.. and i mian qiang eat it.. lol... after awhile we sing birthday song with three cakes lol.. and after awhile i went in to the room and made a eeyore tail to let the kids play.. after playing the game i went home and i waited outside my aunt house cos i come backe arlier then then so i saw my uncle come back and i folo him enter the room.. any gtg.. cya...

Hi everyone.. It has been at least 3 months plus i haven been updating my blog.. i'm sry.. but i was so busy that i couldn't help with it.. anyway.. right now i'm still going thru my exam.. soon it will be ending by next thurs.. anyway.. during this period.. i make a new spec which my aunt had paid for me.. and i stay at her house but i came back on the sunday night.. last sat i celebrate my grandma birthday after the celebration i went to church with my aunt and i stay at her house till sunday evening again... so before i went home she say she wan me to go her house and stay every sat to go church with her.. and i say no prob.. during sunday night before i went home, my cousin and i went to pasa malam and we play pirate ship.. i nvr been so happy with them so this week i will be going her house again.. but yesterday i was so upset becos i couldn't find my badminton racket and i have to go get a new one.. but then i was looking out for racket casing however there wasn't any news.. so i sms my cousin and said i buy a new racket but i coudn't find the casing.. so she called me and ask me some question and then i asked her to ask her mom where have sell the racket casing so after awhile she called me again and sasy her mom will go find and see if have then buy but no guarentee.. however i sms my aunt and i say thnx alot and i didn't know it cause my cousin to get scolded.. i feel very guilty.. haiz.. but i seriously dun like to force others to get something that i wan for me.. unless you are willingly i have nth to say but i will return the favour to you.. but if you can't then nvm cos i won't wan to force ppl to get my favourite things for me.. and even if i nvr get the item i wan i will only feel disappointed but i won't complain anything..cos i won't give up but i will be continue to search for it.. so i won't do anything that upset any party.. but i didn't know my aunt would scold my cousin.. haiz i feel terrible seh.. anyway.. right now i'm in school.. i having animation period which is a free period.. haha.. thus i'm here to blog.. lol.. anyway.. this morning when i wake up i couldn't find my wallet but i was running late so i said to myself say come home then look for it lar.. but on the way to sch i was so worreid that it might lost again so i sms my aunt to ask her look for me and to my surprise she called me and ask me where i left it.. and i get nagged by her so after that she say i left it in the plastic bag where i have help my the other aunt buy the bread.. and i felt relief.. and she told me she have put in her house so after school i will be taking it home and then i will be going to cd shop to return the cd that i have rent.. cos today is the duedate and afterwards i will be taking my badminton racket from the bin bin dian as i have pay the deposite and today i would be able to pay the full price.. i'm so happy.. but anyway.. this morning i see the sky wasn't dark and is so bright thus i tot it won't rain but to my expect, i couldn't believe it going to rain.. i did not keep my clothes.. arhhh.. it going to be wet.. i feel like crying le.. anyway i gtg i wan to surf net internet le.. haha.. dun wan to talk anymore.. i will update soon.. any way those who have facebook i have update the pic that i took with my cousin you can go and have a view on my facebook profile.. haha

Labels: terrible feeling of the day..

Hi guys.. is being a very long ever since my last post.. wel.. just update myself though you guys have known what i have been doing.. on 5/27 i started working in mac.. that was my first part-time job.. my second part-time job is as a tutor( teach chinese) anyway.. just last week thurs.. i was sent home by sch due to me not feeling well.. so i took 2 days MC.. fri and mon.. however,today when i get back sch again. not yet half an hour i straight away get sent home again.. my dad was so angry that he gonna waste money to let me see docotr and get MC.. i really wan to tell those teacher although i was weak, but i not so weak that i have to get rest.. every night when ever i was in the room from far distance from the living room i could hear my dad coughing like crazy, ever since that incident happen,he nvr recover before.. it getting worst, his medication bill is getting higher.. i really wan to help him carry off his burden but yet with just two job with low pay i dunno how to manage so that he won't have to suffer.. but right now even my self i can't even handle anymore.. i feel so stress.. two more years,my dad will have to retire.. by then i dunno who will be able to take care this family.. my heart really break off when i see him continue to suffer in that manner.. how i wish god could just help him get relief off.. but yet no improvements were made.. today, i met my dad friends, they ask me one question, if my dad wants to find someone to accompany him, will i accept.. my first reaction was NO! i dunno why i would say that but rather i shall say i dun like outsider to interupt our family.. expect me to accept an outsider to be my step-mother i would rather die.. right now there are one three thing i was worried abt.. First: Wondering how to cope with choir when sch start, Second : how to help my dear friend to gain back her confidence and release her from darkness,Third:For the one i love,how can i able to help them whenever they need someone?.. well.. i shall stop here.. i'm tired.. is getting late.. cya everyone

Labels: trouble

lalala.. dunno wat to post.. but feel like saying something infront of him to catch his attention but i failed.. i haven been talking to him for 1 weeks ever since we only set together in double sci class.. somehow i do feel that i have no feelings for him but that only when i dun see him for long.. but once sch start with lesson going on... i feel like talking to him non-stop.. i couldn't control but yet wan his attention.. i was so afraid that he might turn stray by learning bad things from his friends.. i ask myself a question.. my feeling to him is it trying to surpress my feeling to "unknown" ( who ever noe you will noe who i refer too..) or am i really fall in love with him? i dunno which way is gd for both of us.. but the feeling he given me was the one that i nvr felt from "unknown" it really surprise me when the moment i noe he had that kind of feelings.. it was so natural that hardly even i can feel.. i trying to maintain it from now.. perhaps once holiday gone my feeling to him will be gone as well.. lets hope that..

Poem again lol :
The world you give me,was the one i looking for..
In that world consist not only me but you..
Feeling so natural was the first time i ever had
Holding down against you Was hard but easily be erase..
No one knows it beside me..
Perhaps the lightness in you,bring my life back
Life that are reborn by you was a blessing
But yet no one realise..
The moment you leave me for seconds,
the suffering days come back..
Holding down the hatred that you said was hard
But yet i give a try...
Trying to suvive without you is not as easy as i think..
Perhaps is time to let go.....but how?
As a world human,when it time flies off the answer will be revealed..
Time is patience,Patience is time
Limitation of patience is not controllable but yet i did it..
You bring me out of darkness but yet brings me ignorance
It feel painful when you were me..
The moment you were there i feel as if i'm reborn..
New life is wat i found in you...

Labels: The newest life i ever had..

alright.. this is just a love poem that i made.. comments are well come nasty words shoo off...! here it goes :

I found a new love within you
It was the first time i ever noe you have natural warm
Though we just knew each other no long,but yet i crush on you..
You are taken that wat i noe.. but yet i couldn't control..
I was so afraid you might leave and go..but reality is reality..
Watever you since today was a accident.. but yet it surprise you..
No one wish to happen it but yet i committed a crime within your eyes..
Friendship to you are important but yet i hate it..
Though i try to be friendly, they came to offence me..
I was hurt when you put trust in them but not me..
The advice you given me i feel comfort and yet you changed the next day..
I tried to told myself dun fall to deep in you but it will go out of control though..
Whenever i see you, my heartbeat reither when faster or no feeling at all..
This happen only when i see you...
The way you talk the way you sleep remain in me deeply...
The sweetness in you have come to me.. but yet i keep it...
when you fall sick my heart break..
I saw you today but yet i ignore not to see when you with him..
All i want is just you alone.. but your ignorance break my heart and mind
into thousand piece..
The pain was unbearable,but yet you like it..
In the end wat i could do is :
silent love.. i wan to stop it but i couldn't..
How i wish you could be there for me again..

Labels: silent love

hey guys this is continue one.. i will upload 5 pic per day if can 15 pic per day.. ^^ cya night

kaichong hand

lukman... wat you staring at??

going round the underwater world

ooo.. shark!

Mr john explaining the detail of it..






we are going in for a briefing..

we have reach the briefing room and that is mr john.. his surname is chee.. lol.. i add a "bye" while i running toward the room..

we are have briefing of how sharks are been threaten by humans..

mr john is explaining the bar that he is holding..

we have reach the touch pool..

Mr john is explaining the sea creature at touch pool..

That is starfish.. we are touching it that feelings is HARD LIKE SOLID!!

Cherie dun dare to touch.. lol

Mr john explain the breathing part of the starfish


wE ARRIVE AT RAY POOL..

A giant ray swimming over...

they are trying to touch the ray..

And krishna( i anyhow spell de) get scare by the other ray that swim pass him while he is concentrate on touching other rays..

He is trying to becareful and not get shock by them anymore..

Mr john is explaining to us the living hard rock creature in the tank itself..

Mingxiang.. why you keep looking at ms lu when she taking photo?!

kaichong hand is going in to feed the fish!!

woo.. journey to the fish.. haha

oo.. touching the rock and you have SCARE all the fish.. arhh..


haha guys.. i have lots more.. i will update tml.. cya night..

Labels: continue pic.. have a nice day..

two boys view sea sight..

Huiting wat are you looking?? handsome boy there??

we are wondering about..

cherie and tiffany

We had just arrive at sentosa express train..


aiyo.. ming xiang.. ms lu taking shark and you jump in.. ms lu : MINGXIANG!!.. WAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY WHEN I TAKING SHARK AND NOT YOU??

hmm.. wat is that sitting there?? lets guess..

Jet: is that a peacock?? Let's whack it!!!

government building a new wonderland near sentosa..

cherie and tiffany.. huiting looking at the new construction site while me taking loads of photos..


Qihao.. wat you trying to do?? jump in and swim with turtle??

me and huiting taking photo with the shark.. haha

aiyo.. boys and cheire.. ppl looking around and yet you guys playing psp.. haiz...

mingxiang head popping out to view turtle.. lol

Jet: huh.. wat are you saying turtle?? i can't hear..


Mother peacock looking out for intruders

Peacock mother and baby sleeping soundly

Kaichong: eh.. how come the peacock standing at the rooftop??

Kaichong: hehe.. lets go scare the male peacock..

Yingjun and the information of rays..


there are more.. dun worry..

Labels: go to underwater world for SL.. cool

hi all.. i too long nvr post liao.. cos i was busy with my syf and sch work and some personal stuff that not settle.. it was freaking stress and tired over all this.. but somehow i noe we al can pull thru it.. anyway sch work to rush until i can even fall asleep in my class and infront of the com.. anyway hope that we all can manage everything till the end..

Labels: tiring day

lalalalala.. long time nvr post liao.. cos dunno wat to post.. well basically still the same life sux no change.. but gain lots of joys during choir.. went thru lots of hardship gaining friendship from everyone.. and lastly he finally online to chat with me again.. i still waiting for the promise to be fulfil.. but if it doesn't then just take it as i'm one-sided love lar.. i have alr waste lots of my life so i won't mind continue wasting but i won't waste time.. cos now i running together with time.. for now i just wanna do well for my "job" in sch which is very mafan.. but i believe as long as there is choir one day things will turn out to be better no matter is hard or easy.. day by day has past.. the day for SYF is coming nearer.. and i feel pressure till i have nightmares of deathness again.. it has been 2 months only that scary dream are back... i couldn't relax at all.. everyone is giving me pressure which i seriously hate it.. i almost couldn't take it i running out of breathe soon.. life won't change unless you change.. << is this sentence make sense?? i dunno.. to me nth change.. cos once things turn bad, it will continue till it happy.. i couldn't resist the bad side of myself.. my mind run wild when i was alone.. haiz.. pethetic of myself.. ( i'm will be a loser or quitter soon if things still dun change!!)

Labels: bad bad bad bad bad bad bad

by the way i post a new poem over there <<<<<<<<< plz read as it go up.. comment it as you like..

i wondering how long i haven been blogging.. even i dun blog no one will come and tag or anything.. lols.. i have nth to talk abt.. but there still one word i wanna say which is : WORRIED.. dun ask me why.. but the feeling that i have is weird.. it seems like i have forgotten something or someone.. last week.. my baby cousin chat with me on the phone she just 2 years old.. she ask me a weird question that it shouldn't be a question for her age to ask.. so she ask me jie jie.. can i ask you one question? i say : sure.. baby: why do all adult keep mumbling say mommy love is the biggest thing in the world.. Me: * shock* why do you ask this? baby: dunno.. they say everyone noe wat that only i dunno so i ask you lor.. Me: oo.. i c.. hmm.. this question really question me down.. * heartache* Baby: huh.. you dunno arh.. so bad.. Me: i go and find the ans then i tell you next time ok? Baby: ok.. hehe... * put down the phone* well.. after the conversation i asked myself wat is mother love feels like? all i noe is the past of myself, my heart filled with hatred.. for now it filled with sorrow,pain,cold,worried... i noe wat i wan but i dun dare to do it.. sometime all the things that i hope for all appears in my lalaland but it does not happen in the true world.. slowly i will be a full flegde blod blooded person..

Labels: cold~

sry my blog really dead after i went for the camp..well.. i not going to say anything abt the camp but i still wan to say this KAYAKING IS FUN!!.. haha.. i gone abit crazy when it come to kayaking..so just recently the misunderstanding between me and my choir conductor is over.. and i tried my best to maintain my time until SYF over.. well.. i really hope SYF fast come and over cos i wanna go and work with my friend again.. which also can let me earn money for my bank acc which i going to get my card next two weeks..and today morning my life is sucky.. i wake up at 10.30.. when to bath until 10.50 and rush for tution.. during lesson time i get plenty of homework as last week i didn't turn up due to i fall ill.. so i get my test,and lots of hw which give me headache.. and lesson gone half way i was blur but i nvr ask teacher cos i scare i will slow down the class so i kept quiet.. and we did three worksheet i guess.. and i discuss with my friend's seowyi.. after discussing we chat a little bit and get scolding from teacher.. haha.. so well.. i get 8 workshet, one test and 4 chemistry worksheet and 3 english worksheet which i suppose need to hand up for tml english lesson.. haiz.. very tiring and stress.. and when i fall ill doctor lecturing me again she said you better dun over stress yourself.. your health is alr getting worst.. but i told her i couldn't contorl it as there are lots of things for me to catch up.. then she said fine better take care.. i noe they all care abt my heath and i dunno how long i can last.. but i just wan to complete my things before i go.. well.. i won't borther so much anymore.. neither do i wan to care.. i long time alr given up my life.. so i not scare.. haha..

人生如戏，戏如人生。这句话是否是真的? 没人知道。。有些东西或事情都有真真假

假，假假真真。。 可是只要你自己失去的东西在也那不回来，那就是真的。。 很

多事情在我们的生活里是看不到，听不到，甚至做不到。。可是在人类的梦里却什

么都有，什么都看的到，听的到，甚至做的到。。可是当我们从梦中情醒时，一切

都回到原来的人生。。 在我人生中，经过很多很多的风风雨雨。。 在这路程中，

我也失去了不少人。。他们在我生命中是非常重要的人，可是命运摆布了他们的生

命。不过在一瞬间，我的记忆消失了。。 我在也不知道他们有多重要。不过有一句

话说:记忆会消失，不过爱情会留下。我相信只要不放弃，任何事情都可以办得到!

Labels: 人生是一场梦

haha.. today is the day for collecting angpao... well.. my mood still ok lar.. beside in the morning abit moody.. right now i at granny house with my others relative.. later going movie with my cousin and my 4th aunt.. the movie is the wedding game.. after movie i will update more.. cya.. gtg

Labels: woo hoo..

Yo everyone!!.. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! haha.. yesterday i went to my granny house to have steamboat.. everyone really enjoy them self.. haha.. but the most funny things is when i went to eat for second round for prawns.. the steamboat light keep flicking off.. then the maid say aiya fast off it.. the fire spoil becos is too hot.. and everyone was laughing.. then the second funny thing is my cousin whom was younger then me by one, he say ehh still got so many if cannot finish the maid and granny will eat them all.. then the maid did not listen to what he say and she say ok.. then she suddenly realise ehh how come she eat everything.. then we all reply say is you say we cannot finish you take all mah.. then she was like omg.. and she wanna change her mind but is too late.. so we really laughing at her.. then while i was drinking orange, i laugh until i get choke in my nose.. and i run to the basin and spilt it out and all my cousin make fun of me say.. ehh you pregnent alr isiz?? how many month.. but i was laughing until i can't ans.. but really very fun lar.. many fun part i too lazy to type.. haha. anyway happy ox year!!..

Labels: most happy year..

Hi.. everyone.. i'm back for blog again.. well.. many things happen.. very complicated too.. first.. my ex bf come back to online.. we have a great chat but normally we will quarrel before we can talk nicely.. cos that how we communicate.. well.. today i quite upset becos first of all, i was stack between two teachers.. one is my choir conductor the other is my co-teacher.. both of them threaten me.. one ask me to respect the other teacher while the other say if i nvr go then i will get discipline cases.. at first i wanna cry cos i really dunno what to do.. but after sch i went to find the teacher in charge of choir, ms huang.. i told her everyhting.. and she excuse me from choir so i can really feel relieve... well today i suppose to hand up social study.. but my form teacher Ms.D.Ng was absent today.. so i was really disappointed.. becos i spent the whole night doing the homework but in the end cannot hand up.. haiz.. as i said life is so unpredictable.. haiz.. sad sad sad sad sad.. anyway yesterday i having tuition on pure chem.. i was late for the lesson due to overslept.. so i reach my tuition lesson at 11.35 and i knock the door go in and i apologise for being late.. and she say arhh... you are very late and i keep saying sorry.. but luckily i wasn't late for test.. if not i will be dead.. but the most thing i afraid is two weeks later there will be another test on chapther 1,2,3 i very stress!!! arhh.. then next week there might be combine chem class test.. SOMEONE HELP ME PLZ!!! i wanna die.. kill me.. anyway i told my ex.. no matter what he do to me, my feeling to him won't change.. my heart was been shut down ever since we break.. and if wanna open the lock he is the only key.. i won't open for any others beside him.. i willing to sffers with him in the future.. no matter what happen i dun care in the future he is rich or poor i will still continue my journey with him..

Labels: life is stress which i can't take it.. freak

well.. days pass so slow.. day by day,i almost forgotten that you are in this world..let me tell you,i nvr regret the days i spent with you.. but i regret that we break.. everyday,every mins,every second spending without you is hard.. trying to erase you away from my memory but fail..i just wanna noe how you doing whether you are safe anot..if can give me one more chance,i won't let it go anymore.. i still wanna let you know no matter how far are you, i still love you forever..Noww.. back to today story.. today i was quite piss in afternoon becos someone scolded my friend.. but before that it still fine.. i slowly realise i love my TC teacher,Ms.D.Ng.. i love her teaching and the way she was.. sometime shequite firce,sometime quite funny.. today we enjoy alot in social study as she teach us how to write proper essay.. after that is TC lesson.. in TC lesson she told us who is our Chairman,vice-chair and treasurer.. well.. i get depromoted but nvm i still love my job as a treasurer.. our chairman is mingzhong,vice-chair1 is amalina vice-chair 2 is samuel.. well the rest nth to say liao.. but i like one of the sentence that ms ng said.. boys are not as matual as girls.. and which is right.. boys are childish.. MS NG YOU ROCK MAN!!..

Labels: somone that i love but was not beside me..

ARGHGHGHG!~!~!~! I GOING CRAZY BECOS OF THE SOCIAL STUDY PROJECT!.. I FACE ALOT OF PROBLEM BECOS OF ONE STUPID GUY.. HE IS NOT JUST ANNOYING BUT IS SUPER DUPER IRRITATING! HE THINK HE VERY BIG ARH!.. HE SAY HE BE LEADER FINE LOR LET HIM BE BUT THE MOST THING I CAN'T TOLERATE IS THAT IF YOU SAY YOURSELF IS LEADER THEN WHAT FOR PUSHING EVERYTHING FOR US TO DO WHILE YOU WERE SLACKING OFF! THIS IS TOTALLY RIDICULOUS!.. I NVR FAIL ANY PROJECT BEFORE! IF THIS TIME I FAIL AND GET SCOLDING BECOS OF HIM!.. I TLL YOU I MAKE SURE I WILL SETTLE IT IN NEGETIVE WAY.. well after the project i went home and get the choir money to pay for the camp t-shirt.. then on my way back to sch teacher call me and he ask me where was i.. and i told him i was outside the sch going in alr.. and he say where i go so i reply i said i went home and get the choir money to pay the things lor.. and he say oo.. ok.. ( hang up) so the moment i stpe in the choir, there a total silent so i walk slowly cos i scare i get scolding.. so after everyone was pleasent, we have alot of fun in practising and after practising we decide the new committee member.. so after i finish i went home with melissa she walk like a super duper slow like snai.. so i just walk with her slowly lor.. after i reach home i rush to buy dinner for my grandma.. anyway i told many ppl that i am a person who is waiting for death.. and i know this day will come sooner or later.. after the day i get my report back, i realise that things have change.. the act up condition is getting more and more.. but i have no choice.. i dun wan to go see doctor so i wait to die.. so abt night 10+ i call stephanie and we chat abt the problem of dueling with that idioitic.. so i came with a solution go find teacher and settle everything fast and clear..

Labels: headache of problems..

hi guys.. well i didn't update my blog for a long time liao.. well i dunno what to write lar.. yesterday after choir i came back home and i rest awhile and i was running with a fever.. but today morning it was fine so i went to sch.. i almost late and today we have alots of funs with ms D.Ng she is our form teacher.. she is quite fun but at the same time super duper firece.. well i haven't seen her true colour neither i wish too.. but the things that freak me out is there a guy came to join my class nand he is gim hui.. and i totally freak out that he was in my group for project.. well the bad news is some of the boys in 313 coming to join my class.. and the worst thing is THAT LIU SHAO XUN IS JOINING!!.. i warn myself if the day he join, i won't be nice.. after that teacher announce the vote for chairman and vice chairman.. so.. i'm glad that the highest vote for chairman was not me.. BUT! the vice chair man the highest vote was me and nisha.. so next week we will know who is our chairman and vice.. hope i dun be one of them...

Labels: miserable life starts again

sry guys.. it been long time ever since my last post..well this few days i busy in sch and some personal stuff.. so today my god sis call me and tell me to meet her as she has something to tell me so i agree and i went to meet her..on my way i feel something not right.. the tone of her is weird.. so well i met her and sat down and she pass me an envelope she ask me to open so i do as she say.. and i was shock.. it was my report.. so i read it and my emotion sort of changes.. i dunno it should be happy or be sad.. i also dunno how to go and explain to ms wong.. she has been concern abt my report.. so i ask my cousin what did doctor as her to tell me and she only tell me one word : becareful.. so i was like hmm.. becareful?? as in worst or gd.. so after meeting her i went home and have a rest..so at abt 6+ i woke up and my bro say he brought the dinner alr.. so i went to bath and had my dinner..then at abt 7+ i went to buy newspaper and when i was back i saw my little cousin came to my grandma house as he need to do one traditional thing for wedding person.. cos this sat is my cousin wedding but i dun wan to go.. but no choice.. cos there will be alot of kids as in my baby cousin will be there.. so i need to take care them..so at abt 10+ i called huitiing i ask her who is our chinese teacher but she dunno.. so i say oo.. kk then mon go ask.. and i was piss duing the first day of sch cos of some rules that was set abit ridiculous. and on mon i have to bring a super duper heavy bag that i nvr had before.. and the more shock things is my E.Maths teacher is Mr Jimmy chiang.. weee... as i say cos that bag will comsist of 1 POA bk,E.Maths bk,Chemistry bk, 3 Physic bk, 2 Chinese bk.. so you think lar heavy anot.. POAcan alr kill me now plus those book.. haiz... my tribble life starts again in this new yr.. sometime i been thinking how long must i continue and one more thing is today abt 12+ mid.. one of my stuff drop under a chair so i wanted to bent down my head and see where is it.. as i bent down, i head hits against the sharp angle of my house table.. now there is one ba lu gu.. later got nao zhen dang i will be the one who is the most happy one.. hahahaha!!!.. cos i wanted to end my life as soon as i can.. if this happen then it can fufil my wih.. well time to sleep gd nite everyone..

Labels: blablabla

sian... going to sch reopen liao.. i still haven prepare everything yet.. sian... dun feel like going to sch leh.. haiz.. dunno what will it be on the first day of sch.. imagine facing a class of 32 boys.. really make my mood gone.. but at least i going to meet my friend huiting ^^ she same class as me haha.. ^^ but anyway.. this week sci class is cancel due to holidays.. so is postpone to next week.. really hope to get my sci textbook soon.. now still wondering who is our teacher.. haiz.. hope is a female teacher.. ^^ but female teacher get bullied easily by those boys seh.. HEADACHE LAR!!! ARHH..

Labels: wondering abt sch...

Time flies off so fast.. human life ended without a reason.. It seems like there isn't anything for me to live.. all the worries i can't solve.. at first i thought that frends is part of my life.. but i was wrong.. when i realise i can't tie down a friendship, it seems wake me up to remind me of what it mean by meaningless.. i have been wondering how much life or time have i left with.. will i be able to last for 1 yr?? i do not know.. destiny has been cruel to me.. it brought away all the ppl i love.. right now, i can't even hold down my chance of study.. this sunday is my last chance of staying in my tuition class if i fail i will be gone.. i really try my best to staudy for sec 3 life.. but this chance ggetting slim off.. when i try my best to get back the memory i lost, i failed to do so... i wan it back.. but it seems gone in the opp way of me.. the more i try to remember the more memory i lost.. perhaps someone can give me reason to live.. but none.. i'm JUST A GONER!!!! I'M A SORE LOSER.. AND I'M A QUITTER!!!!!

Labels: quitter in my life

it just happen on Saturday night.. i having headache and this headache is call tension headache.. you can go on internet and check the symptoms for it.. so at first i tot it was kind of normal headache that i always had so i went on to my sleep it was abt 11+ as there was no one at home so i totally have no energy to do anything.. until midnight 3.30 i woke up from my sleep.. my head seems like going to burst i couldn't take it.. the pain was from my shoulder to my neck then to my head.. then i fekt something burn in my body so i went to take temperature and i realise that i having fever.. but i dun have my medicine for fever so i just went on and ake the headache medicine tha the doctor provide for me.. after taking it my headache did not go it went on for 4 hours.. so until morning 7.30 it finally not as painful as it is for the first time.. so i go and rest for 2hours and 21 minutes.. i woke up at 9.51 then i realise that i forgotten to do my homework so i rush and do it.. as i was doing it, the pain came back to me.. at first doctotr did remind me dun stress for myself.. but i am running out of time so i dun bother abt that so at 10.30 i went for tuition i can't even concentrate but i still manage to do my work so i was glad for that.. but i didn't noe the consequence after i went home at 1pm.. , i trying to help my brother carry his stuff then i realise that my muscle totally tense up and i can't bent down my neck at all.. so i told him he go carried himself and due to that we had a quarrel.. so i dun care and i went to rest.. till today morning, i then realise both of my shoulder totally in pain until now the pain remains there.. i also dun even noe the result of the report.. i was quite worry abt that.. my mind was balnk i dun even have the mood to study for this sunday test.. i might afraid that someday when i totally lost my memory, i will be alone without knowing anything...

Labels: LOST FAITH IN MYSELF

haiz.. today i had a hard time.. in the morning i went for my chem tuition.. then we went thru the worksheet and homework together.. as we finish the worksheet, we went on with the homework that she had ask us to do.. then she start by asking us to ans it one by one.. then it reach my turn, i dun dare to say cos i scare is wrong.. cos my ans at first i put as B but i change it to C.. so i told her my ans was C.. then she ask me for the reason and i was totally stun... i dunno how to explain with that ans.. so i just ans what ever i think is right lor.. then she go pick an other student to ans it and the ans is B.. then she told me something that hurt me.. but no choice.. ever since so many things happen, my memory getting bad to worst.. all i could say is i accept it.. cos i have no choice even they wanna kick me out of the class. everytime when ever i enter that class, i start to shiver.. i really very scare of that teacher.. cos i scare that i might say something wrong and let her scold me again.. so i rather remain in silent.. in that calss, i nvr even ask a single question for what i dunno.. i rather let her scold then i say something that offence her again.. for now i truely wan to remain in that class but.. the choice is not i made.. all i could say is i'm sry Ms Toh..

Labels: the disappointment in her

It has been a long time ever since i blog.. many things happens i dunno why suddenly my old memory that i has been forcing my self to forget come back to me.. it makes me really unhappy.. so during this dec holi all i do was tuition... nth else... it seems so boring.. ever since my tuition starts on 30th of nov, i was so afraid that i might offence the teachers again.. i used to offence one sci teacher whom now teaching me pure chem... from the first lesson she alr told me that pure chem is not simple.. i have to noe the basic first before i went on with the class.. so i try my best to put all my concentration on that class.. how i wish sch has no reopen.. my next yr 312 class have 32 boys and 8 girls.. i was like.. wth.. and i heard that our teacher gonna be a discipline master i was so afraid and totally no mood when i noe the class.. i keep wondering next yr banned english class who will be in my class.. now all my days i spent my self locking in my room doing nth.. my mind totally run wild... i really wanna hang out with some friends but.. no one seems like i can find.. everyday i do is studying for test for my tuition.. everyweek got one test every chapter finish, there will b test then every lesson there will be 3 sets of homework to do... i feel so boring.. so today huiting finally ask me to go out and play badminton.. but i can't go at all.. cos i was so afraid of the report from doctor.. this few days i feel so restless.. i totally have no energy to do a single things.. i been thinking that will my report b negetive or positive.. but even the result out, no one will care... every mid i couldn't sleep at all until morning 7+ then sleep.. i might afraid i can't hold it for long.. haiz.. all the worries i have, i dun feel like facing them at all..

Labels: darkness in my heart

HEY GUYS!!.. I TODAY FEEL SO HAPPY!!.. I CELEBRATE MY NANNY BIRTHDAY WITH HER FAMILY S.. I PLAY WITH 3 KIDS.. ONE OF IT IS JUST A 3 YRS OLD BABY.. WE WERE LIKE PLAYING SO HAPPY THAT I DIDN'T REALIZE MY GASTRIC ACT UP AT ALL.. UNTIL I STARTED EATING DINNER.. I WAS LIKE.. OUCH! WHY SO PAIN.. BUT I CAN'T DO ANYTHING DURING THAT TIME.. COS TODAY IS MY NANNY BIRTHDAY.. I DUN WAN HER TO GET UPSET BECOS OF ME.. I HARDLY SEE HER SO HAPPY.. ALL THE TIME SHE WAS TAKING CARE HER GRANDCHILDREN AND ALSO GET ALOT OF STRESS DURING THAT TIME.. SO NO MATTER WHAT I TOLD MYSELF DUN EVER EVER SPOILT HER MOOD.. AND I WAS BEEN FORCE TO EAT 3 PIECES OF CAKE.. BUT I STILL FEEL HAPPY COS IT SEEMS LIKE A BIG BIG BIG FAMILY FINALLY TOGETHER.. ^^

Labels: MY NANNY BIRTHDAY

Hey guys!!! you noe what?? today is my first day of chemistry tuition!! At first, i was quite scare because offended the tuition teacher before.. then i might think that she still angry with me.. but soon the lesson when well.. then suddenly one of the student rebecca... she come in and she was late for lesson.. then lesson go half way and we were chatting with the teacher : Mdm Toh... and she refer that she dun like student to be late then i was thinking in my heart.. errr... ok... must remember no matter what we can't be late... then we were learning chapter 1 MEASUREMENT IN CHEMISTRY EXPERIMENTS this chapter is quite fast and fun!! i love the topic abt Air.. as we were going thru in the class abt Air calculation, and i suddenly think Hey! it was fun to calculate that i learn alot of things regarding that chapter.. and NEXT WEEK IS THE TEST ALR!! ARHH... I'M VERY SCARE.. cos today i alr make some mistake in question and ans.. then i thought teacher will angry but she didn't.. she was like... waiting patiently for my ans even thou my ans wrong she did not scold me.. so i tot mayb is the first lesson so is ok to make mistake lar.. so i remind myself next time must becareful.. then before we left, we learnt abt mole.. and we learn how to calculate mole.. then there are 5 question and i try my best to do it correctly.. but the last question question 5.. i dun noe how to calculate as other have calculator while i dun have ALL THIS MUST BLAME MY BRO!! HE SAY FIRST LESSON DUN NID TO BRING DE SO I DIDN'T BRING LOR!! then i dun have calculator i can't calculate as i having headache so she go thru and write the ans.. then the last question she say the ans is 2 then she said.. if correct then i dun nid to go thru.. if got any question ask now.. but then i was errr... should i ask anot.. but in the end i did not ask cos i scare she scold me.. ANYWAY!!! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY XIAO J!!!!

Labels: TUITION IS SCARY AND FUN AT THE SAME TIME..

Help me~~~~ i'm in a great pain.. just this two days.. when i ate my medicine.. after 1 hour plus.. MY GASTRIC START TO PAIN! i now wondering if there really holes.. alr past 5 days.. still got 5 more days to go.. help me~~ i wanna cry le... I WAN MOMMY! I WAN MOMMY! WHERE U! I'M IN PAIN!! CAN U SEE IT! HELP ME! :'( :( WUUU~

Labels: MOMMY... I'M IN PAIN.. *CRIES*

I REALLY CAN'T TAKE THE PAIN ANYMORE... SOMEONE HELP ME... THE PAIN IS GETTING WORST DAY BY DAY.. HWAT SHOULD I DO?? DOCTOR SAY WAIT FOR 10 DAYS THEN GO BACK AND C IF IS OK.. BUT!!!! ONLY TILL 4 DAYS I'M ALR IN GREAT PAIN.. AN OTHER 6 DAYS MORE.. I STILL HAVE TO TAHAN.. I'M SCARE SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN.. I'M REALLY AFRAID.. I GTG AND REST NOW.. CYA..

Labels: GETTING WORST AND WORST..

Hi everyone.. this few days many thing happen.. my health getting weaker then usual.. i might afraid something bad will happen.. my gastric is getting worst day by day.. yesterday i went to see doctor.. and doctor warn me to be careful.. she said that i have something call gastric liquid and is harmful to my health.. then she give me 10 days medicine and ask me go home and take first.. if after 10 days my health got improve then i can use medicine to control it.. but if the liquid still remain in my body then i will have danger.. so i have to wait for 8 more days then go back to the doctor to check again.. i hope this 8 days can really improve.. i really can't take it anymore.. i lost my appetite of eating.. everyday have to take the pain in me.. i scare i might b gone.. i dun wan to go for operation i DUN WAN!! this gastric pain is been in me for 1 week plus.. if inside have holes i really have to go for operation.. but now i dun wan to think for that i wan to get forgiveness from my friend Stephanie.. i won't go until i settle this problem.. but if i really go for operation, and if fail.. i will wan to say is thanks for been my friend for so long.. i have no regret for the decision you made.. sry for hurting you so much.. but in my heart i truly treat u as my best friend.. i swear for that... All i could say is i dunno how long can i take the pain.. I'm sry. If something really happen to me.. dun b sad i not worth for that..

Labels: Gastric problem..

* cries* yesterday midnight, i talk to Huiting.. i was so forgetful that i dun even remember that she leaving sg to go malaysia( genting) to have her holidays.. to say the truth, my memory of something or someone slowly fade away.. and i told her that if she leave then i will b alone but she told me that.. i nvr say i go liao won't come back mah.. why u so worry.. then i say.. I WORRY IS BECOS I ALMOST LOSE U IN MY LIFE ALR I CAN'T AFFORD TO LOSE U AGAIN! and i started crying.. during that chat.. my heart really torns in to 18 pieces.. anyway.. since that day of the trip back.. i realise alot of things that i have miss and the mistake that i have made.. but one of the problem is.. i dunno how to solve it.. then as i was thinking.. my house phone rang.. it my grandmother( mom side) she call my to let me noe that my third aunt will b coming my house to do a spot check.. then i wa shock and i tell her ooo.. but... sunday i have something on.. and she said.. NTH IS IMPORTANT THEN YOUR AUNT COMING.. and i really piss off lar.. so i say fine! then i put down the phone and i say u come n c if there anyone at home lor.. cos sunday i have some family matter to do.. and i also get reminded by eunice that there will b meeting on monday.. so today morning 11+ i woke up from my bed.. i went to coffee shop to help my grandma( father side) to buy food as i walk walking.. i realise that my wound skin begin to drop off.. so i tot if i pull out the rest of it nth happen.. but to what i see is blood and nong.. then i realise how deep was the wound.. then i told myself.. oh no!.. if let ms wong knows abt it. she will b piss off with me.. but what i do can't be undone anymore.. so i put a plaster on it and i also go chaeck my own appointment so that the next health check, i also can go check what has happen to my leg why the swallon place still not yet down.. anyway.. i really miss all my friendship with everyone.. but now.... i left with 1

Labels: friendship ruining

Today, i came back home from school abt 6.15,i rested awhile abt 7.30 i went down to my grandma house to have dinner.. i saw my dad was sleeping on the floor and i wondering was her really sleeping or just resting.. so after dinner i went back to my own house and watch video.. as i was watching, i think thru alot.. everyday i was so afraid that my friend stephanie really will leave me forever.. but many ppl told me that even that happen, it is alr beyond your own limit u can't control everything that going to happen in your life.. so after watching the video half way abt 9.50 i went down to my grandma house again.. as on my way down, i feel something pulling my leg muscle so i tot it was just something normal that i always had.. but i nvr thought of the swallon muscle is back.. so i continue walking.. then i reach my grandma house and i saw my dad was reading newspaper and i asking him what was he reading.. and he nvr ans me.. then suddenly he told me i alr not working and i might not be able to last for 1 and a half yrs anymore.. then suddenly i was shock.. it seems like he was trying to hint me something and dun wan to let me noe.. then i felt a sudden lonely in my heart.. i totally feel so hopeless and helpless.. i really scare one day i wake up, i couldn't see my dad anymore.. i have alr lost my mom i can't just basically see my self losing anyone anymore.. then during that time i feel like calling stephanie.. but the moment i wanted to call, i remind of the hate in her to me.. i knew that she hasn't forgive me yet the hatress in her is not so easily to b earse.. so i try my best to call another friend huiting.. but i call her serveral time no one pick up so i feel so afraid i started to cry out.. i wanna tell someone that i can trust abt my feeling but another feeling tell me that i shouldn't... cos it might let others think that i trying to get ther attention and lied to them.. but it been so long, there are none of them whom i can rely on...

Labels: THE SADNESS AND FRIGHTENESS IN ME..

Guys... this is a msg for u all.. if u all found out and stupid ms on your blog or anywhere just delete it right away.. right here i will apologies for that.. Anyway.. my wound the skin finally drop out.. and the irritating part is u can directly see the flesh in it.. very de.... by the way.. if those who still really treat me as your friends.. keep away from me until the problem that i facing is over.. sry guys.. i dun wan to hurt anyone of u..

Labels: DANGER COMING

Haiz.. today morning 7.30 i wake up from my bed, to my shock, my leg is full of nong.. and i start saying wth no wonder the whole night was so hard to sleep.. i almost go scratch my wound but everytime i wanna do that, i will get remind of the words that ms wong and mr chiang had said to me.. next i feel something burning in me and i go take my temperature so i found out i having fever..but i did not go see doctor.. so i take panodol and i went to bed again.. then i receive msg from my friend reply and the question that one of my classmate have been asking me since the day i'm back.. So i wake up in the afternoon and i online msn to chat with Eunice to ask her abt the secedule for choir.. i noe that sooner or later she and my best friend will leave me that why i dun dare to really take in them as my best friend. at night 7+, my aunt call my house to ask me go down to have dinner so i went down at 8 and i got mix rice for dinner..after dinner, my 6th uncle ask me to help him fold the invitation card for my cousin cos next yr 3rd of jan he will b married.. but i dun feel a single happy feeling at all.. after that i come back home at 10+ i on my com and i saw many msg waiting for me to reply but i have no time so just reply them and went down to help.. on my way,i call Eunice and explain to her the misunderstanding.. but i noe the hateress in her to me is still there even though she said her not.. since the day my very best friend i noe for long have change since sec 1 i slowly lose her.. everytime i wanna talk to her but she seems dun wan to talk to me at all.. so slowly i begun to feel that i might b her enermy one day.. so from the trip back i warn my self to keep a distance away from everyone.. include the "friend" that i dun hate me at all.. actually to what i found out was i dun even deserve a single friend in my whole life.. cos to what i been thru since i was primary one, i counted those to been with me as "friend", is zero.. everytime i make ppl angry is because i wanna make them hate me.. the more they hate me the more happy i m.. becos the hate in them can let me c their true feeling.. so from now on, i only wan to treat 7 person good and which is Ms Wong, Mr Chiang,Mrs Wee,Mr damon, stephanie, Eunice and huiting.. those 4 teacher which i name is becos they been thru with me to trip and they fully understand everything that i been thru and which i told them.. as for the first two person i mention they help me alot during sch time and the trip too.. especially stephanie.. becos of my she get hurt too.. when she injured my heart also feel hurt and bleeding.. i been thru with her for so long i truely afraid to lose her.. but i have no choice so for what i can do is make you all hate me.. there for you two hate me then the more i can make you two get less danger away from me.. as for huiting, i almost lose her before.. so i treat her as a precious to me.. wat ever she wan i will try my best to let her have it.. those who bully her i will also try my best to get revenge for her.. ( Eunice and Stephanie.. i'm sry i have to make u guys hate me.. i dun wan you guys to get in more trouble for wat is going to happen next after the trip) so no matter what i do plz hate me more then been gd to me.. i truely treat u guys as the super best friend that i ever had but i have to make u guys leave me.. i dun wan to drag u all down becos the trouble that going to happen.. and sometime u guys will c if i see Ms wong, i will seems like wanna talk to her alot.. becos i written something special in the letter that i pass to her during the trip.. i truely treat her like family cos i feel something close in her cos i felt that she is one of the adult who is so special to me..SO NO MATTER WHAT HATE ME AS MUCH AS U CAN..

Labels: THE HATERESS THAT I WAN FROM U GUYS..

I'm finally back from malaysia.. on the first day,we went to Tg Pagar Railway STation Admin to taketrain to depart for jerantut.. and we arrive there midnight 2.37 and we walk to Hotel of Sri Kim Yen to check in and rest.. and we wake up at 7 to gather for transfer out and DEpart for Gua Kota gelanggi. next we reach Gua Kota Gelanggi Cave at 8.45a.m. and they say we going to stay over night at the cave so i was quite worry abt the danger.. at 9.30 we when for Abseiling.. when is my turn,i when all the way up to the cliff by holding the rope to climb up.. on my way up,i got hurt by caterpillar but i did not feel a single pain so i continue walking till i reach the top.. on my way up, my harness drop out so i ask the trainer to help me tighten it.. and i was getting ready to go down.. on my way down, i was so afraid that i might fall.. so i took a long time to get down.. then suddenly i feel something crawling on my right arm and i turn my head all is big black ants.. i tried my best to sweep them away.. and after that i begin to lose my balance.. then i begin to start swaying and i accidentally got scratch in my back.. but i didn't tell anyone about it.. so after i got down, i walk my way to the small room to rest and get my belonging from my friend Eunice.. so i decided to pull up my pants and c if there are any scratches.. to wat i saw was leech! at that time i was so afraid.. cos it was my first time get leech and i ask my friend STephanie to spray the insect repellent for me.. as she spray, the leech begin to move and fall and the second time she spray it hit my wound that why i was in pain.. but she tot that i scare the bite of the leech.. so i start moving my leg to sway away the leech in the end it drop and it's leg stuck in my flesh...and i was abt to cry while waiting for my teacher,ms wong to come and help me bandage... she help me to wash my wound and pluck out the leg of the leech and help me stop the bleeding.. since then i begin to like her( as in teacher and student) but slowly the feeling change.. so after the abseiling, we had our lunch.. i ask my friend, steph to take drink for me and my other friends huiwen, she ask my to share lunch with her so each of us take half of the rice that was on the plate of her.. after lunch,we have 20 minutes break before we go for caving.. since then my injury begin.. when we start crossing thru the river, on the second river i fell down and hurt my self.. at first i tot my leg was bleeding and i stop to check.. but there was nth.. and the smell of the blood was alr in the jungle.. so the second fall was on the 4th river.. i didn't noe that there was rod in the water so i was walking peacefully.. as i walk,i trip and fall and hit the huge stone.. and that was the cut to my leg.. so my friend trying her best to pull me up but my leg was in pain i couldn't get up.. so my teacher, Ms Wong, she came and help me.. so i continue walking..until i reach the cave where they say have natural cool air.. and i felt something painful unerneath my track pants.. so i pull up and saw my leg was bleednig.. it was so painful but they say have to continue.. after caving,we back to the cave and get bath.. while i bathing, my wound was painful as there are 4 small cut and one big cut.. and my leg begin to swallon.. after bathing, i was out of the toilet and trying my best to get back to the cave but i walk half way i stop.. so my friend huiwen came to help me get back to rest.. and i get some anti cream from Mr chiang and was apply to my wound.. after resting, we went for dinner and go for night walk.. i had a hard time walk and my friend stephanie was helping me even though she was injured too.. and since then others of my friends begin to hate me including those i noe first.. i become a bundle to my friends as well as the teacher.. after the night walk, we have alot of fun during the camp fire.. and we do our reflection before we sleep.. so we all slept in the tent that was alr prepare for us.. and i whole night have a hard time to sleep and i make my friend spect to become slanted.. on the third day( 8 nov), we wake up at 7 and had our breakfast and get depart for tekam resort.. and we went for flying fox.. i didn't had a chance to get to play becos my leg was swallon and painful so my teacher Mr damon he suggest me not to go.. after that we had our lunch and we went for bamboo rafting.. i couldn't help them but after the activity my leg feel much more better that i dun have to limp walking again but i only can walk in a normal slow spped.. when i try my best ot walk fast,i start to limp again but on my way back, i fell in to a hole which i didn't saw it.... so we had our dinner and alot of fun during dinner time.. then we wash up and do reflection and night out at 9.30. On the fourth day, we had our breakfast and get depart for kualan tahan.. and we get board shuttle boats to taman negara and trek all the way up to visit canopy walk and we had our lunch at 1+ then we went for rapid shooting.. we had alot of fun bullying Mr chiang and Ms wong.. when we start splashing them, Mr chiang was trying his best to protect Ms wong.. so we can realy see that they are couple.. then we reach jerantut at 5.45 abd we checking to the transit motel and had our bath,dinner shopping and we do our last reflection.. in my relfection book i written something that was been kept in my heart.. so i write in.. after that i went to buy a small booklet and i written some letter to Ms wong and Mrs wee.. and the trainers that had folo us all the way there came to our room and wanna rub out injury.. but she hurt my alot becos she putthe zambak on my open wound so i when up to find my teacher to make a call then they ask my wat happen and i tell them everything.. they was quite angry when i told them becos they say i have open wound shouldn't have put that. after that we move out to take train back to singapore.. and i was been wake by mr chiang and ms wong.. they came and check whether am i having fever and also pass me my passport.. so i reach singapore at abt 11. 23 and we all were been seperate since then.. i really have alot of fun that i cry while we all go on our on way.. i really miss ms wong very much.. she help me alot when i in trouble.. so i keep crying during my way on the bus to woodland MRT station..

Labels: ALL THE MEMORY AND SECRET THAT WAS UNTOLD BETWEEN ME AND MS WONG...

Haiz... full of idiotic things happening again.. but just recently something happen to my relationship. His heart have fly to other women eyes. I know sooner or later we will b apart and i trying to keep myself positive... I dun really mind if he have another stead outside while he steading with me but as long as he tell me the truth that enough... sometime i think of letting him go off.. but it seems hard.. i truely love him so much that i willing to sacrifice my life for him.. but nth in this world can b perfectly done. no matter what my feelings to him won't change. I LOVE YOU FOREVER~

Labels: COMPLICATIONS~

Today i come back home at 2+ p.m then i bath and go buy lunch.. abt 3.30 i met my aunt at the nearby bus stop. The first thing she say was abt my cousin in law yesterday we go visit him at tts hospital at abt 8 plus,he still coma.. he fell down and his neck vain broken.. doctor say 99% of chance of death.. then my cousin hear that news started crying.. Then everyone really hope he can survive.. but today my aunt told me that he past away yesterday mid night abt 3+ or 4+.. that was the last day i ever c him again.. He was such a nice guy a gd husband a gd father.. why his life have to end up like that.. For now i really feeling low.. i have no mood to do anything.. i just feel like crying And find someone whom i can talk to.. but i find none... Hope he in heaven can rest in peace.. (For the whole incident i nvr type out i only type some of them as other is hard to say here..)(The last time i c him is at 7 of september 9.30)(He past away at mid night ).. I'm totally hurt...

Labels: (The last day i c my cousin-in-law)

HEYY everyone.. i'm back..since the day semester 2 starts,many things happen more then before.. lets just take today accident.. This morning..abt 6.15.. my neighbour come and knock on my house door and they ask my is my house caught fire.. then when i look at the kitchen, i started screaming.. then i rush to the door and ask my neighbour to help me.. then folo by my bro wake up he also scream and bang on my father door to wake him up.. and then he rush to off the gas then my father go toilet and take a pail of water an grab the metal and put into the pail of water.. but before that the fire burn his arm folo by the oil splash on his back and his arm.. i almost faint when i saw that incident.. i'm so tired.. now the whole kitchen need to b clean then start painting.. i going to have a hard day

today after sch we had rehersel for CNY it was really boring lor.. stand here and there sing here and there than still have to practise the step sia.. sian.. dunno why without my old conductor i really have no mood in choir le lor.. And i really felt like chopping my arm off lor..my right arm is damn pain la.. stupid P.E.. i hate u.. is u who make me get injured de.. I HATE P.E LA.. dunno when can recover sia.. if this pain is not normal or this will bring death to me than have to accept it le lor.. but i mostly very scare that the path of the death will like my mom..(still miss u mom!).. love u forever u forever will b in my heart..is just that fate wanted to seperate us.. i really miss the day when u were around.. i miss the day when we always do cooking together.. i miss u too much le.. mom!!By the way i have to congratz my ex choir teacher she has give birth to her child kristen.. ^^ god bless them..

haiz.. sian la.. everyday have to do the same thing and the china teacher sux sia..she think she from china she very big arh came form china only zzzzz... i dunno why since when i entering secondary sch, i begun to hate chinese alot.. mayb is b cos of some reason (unable to tell)i hate a girl who call angela she damn sux and damn bitchy lor.. ppl talking to others friend she so extra wan to care.. she more sux lor.. anyhow say my friend sux.. she is the first bloody bitch i ever seen in my whole life.. bitchy i hate u

today happen alot of thing till i donno what to say.. i really very scare that i have walk back the old path of my self.. first i scare my sis angry with me cos i keep sms her and she no reply to me.. next is my friend.. god tell me what to do plz... i really very scare

hey i m back to my blog again haha!! actually there is nth to write la but just wanted to type something for my own sake haha. ehhhh.... i totally hate my chinese teacher she is damn freak lor teach so fast and we cannot catch up than we blurr liao after that leh she say write compo and she will give us 1 period and half hour of the time to write but than she only given us 50 mins time lor... than haven finish she say hand up and don care abt completed anot must hand up.. walao this kind of teacher might as well ask her go teach the NT student better they don care abt their study BUT WE DO LOR... like this i destroying my future.. I HATE HER IN MY WHOLE LIFE ARHHH!!!!

Labels: HATE CHINESE TEACHER

Me really feel hurt taht u ahve the illness that me have to went through again.. me feel alot of hurt.. me dunno wat to do.. but u can do it de huiting me will b there to support u everytime :)

there is something that stopping from from steping out of my memory..i have really tried to get over and be a new ppl but no matter how i try i still fail.. i have no choice but some how hope will not walk back my old step...

over this few months,weeks and Days..i only wan to say I HAVE ENOUGH OF ALL THIS RUBBISH THING..I REALLY CANNOT STAND ALL THE BOY!!!I GOING MAD!!!!! GOD PLZ HELP ME PLZ TELL ME WAT CAN I DO TO STOP THIS THING FROM HAPPENING??i really don feel happy in that school..i really feel like crying out i really wan my mom back so that she can tell me wat to do...mom where are u i really miss u alot.. i cannot conitnue like this without u beside me...i wan back my MOM!!!!!!!!!!!! ARG
!!!!!!!

Hi,I'M back to edit my blog again...during this day of holidays,i went to the camp encourage.this camp is for those who has family problem..from this cmap i make alot of friends and i get their number and email..all of them is the same as me but they can be cure not like my haha..this camp let me have alot of courage saying out my feeling in my heart..they let me think alot of things in my mind..i really have to thnx alot to them..they talk to me abt sch,friends,all the thing that has happen to me..i really hope to go again but they say at the age of 14 is not allow to go only when the age of 20 above u can go and help them..after this camp i feel so relax..my mind became blank nth is in my mind..and in the camp i have a jie jie her nane is :eva..she dote me alot and my very best friend is diana and other..diana is the funny,but irritating person cox everytime at night we will torture aunty gek lang than play gameboy beofre we sleep..the most thing that make me unforgetful is the :song of the sea and under waterworld..during the show of song of the sea is at night..and during that show everyone get splash by water..haha...the rest i not going to say le..cya

Name: TAN MEI SHAN
Studying in: YIO CHU KANG SECONDARY
Born in:06/05/1994
Age: 15
Attending: CITY HARVEST CHURCH
She Loves: w341, God and her friends




KIT YEE.
CELL GROUP.
RACHEL.
JE YUN.
KEZIA.
MAGDELINE.
YU JING.

SCHOOLMATES.